What prevents us from finishing what we started? Why do we start things that we might not finish? The concept of lingering tasks has been on my mind lately. Here is something to know about me, my work inbox is incredibly organized. I sort each email I receive into its prospective subfolder. Tasks that I can’t complete immediately get sorted in the “Pending” subfolder, but it nags at me. It causes a slight vibration in my world. I feel no rest until everything is done. (Yes, folks, you guessed it: I’m anal-retentive.) 

That’s my work life, though. My personal life (or inbox if I’m going with the same comparison) is a complete mess. I don’t have a “pending” list. Instead, it is just a heaping pile of shit. I am not a self motivator. In fact, I actively try to un-motivate myself. It’s toxic, really. Everything can be summed up to all the painting experiences that I’ve had in my life. 

When I was a teenager, I wanted to paint our new, wooden doghouse. Easy enough, right? Well, not for me. I painted two walls and was going to call it quits when my mom’s boyfriend told me I needed to finish. Of course, he was in the wrong. How dare he ask me to finish a project I said I would do! If memory serves me right, I complained to my mom and weaselled my way out of finishing. (Russ, I am truly sorry that I was such a rat as a teenager.) Then, in my later years when renting, I moved all of my furniture out of my apartment and into my landlord’s garage so I could paint my walls white. Guess what? I left it like that for nearly a year, keeping the furniture in the garage, and when I went on vacation, my landlord snuck in and finished the job for me. (Larry, you know I am still a rat, and I deeply apologize.) 

The point is, when something gets hard, I am real quick to throw in the towel. I love planning and creating ideas, but executing has never been my strong suit. It is all so, boring. But, finishing things also leaves you with a sense of gratification and completeness. Maybe that’s why we start things, because we need something new to fill the gaps. Or, maybe it isn’t that deep. Maybe, the room just needs to be painted. 

I can’t speak for everyone, but there is always a lingering itch. A feeling that I need to keep going and keep digging, but it never ends. And sometimes, I circle back on the projects, try to hold myself accountable. Then quit, and circle back again. It is an exhausting cycle. Maybe I need to reconsider my goal for this year. Maybe I should put a stronger emphasis on completing those pending tasks. Maybe I should pull the breaks on starting a new craft and actually learn how to do the ones that are piling up in my craft closet. 

Every successful person I have ever met is someone who has kept with something. I have never met anyone who was handed something great (yes, I know this does happen but no one in my life is of that tax bracket). I want to be one of those people. I want to be someone who has a life full of checked boxes. Well, here’s to working towards that this year.